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By Joy Vann

First Lady of Virginia Suzanne S. Youngkin hosted an event featuring the award-winning researcher and New York Times bestselling author Arthur Brooks, Ph.D., at �鶹����AV’s Chartway Arena in Norfolk on Wednesday.

Dr. Brooks is a professor at the Harvard Kennedy School and Harvard Business School where he teaches leadership, happiness and social entrepreneurship courses and is a columnist at The Atlantic, where he writes a weekly “How to Build a Life” column. He delivered an energetic, information-packed roadmap to creating a life of enjoyment, satisfaction and meaning based on his 2023 #1 New York Times bestseller with Oprah Winfrey, “Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier.” His discussion on the foundations of this path — faith, family, friendship and meaningful work — was followed by a sit-down conversation with the First Lady.

The event was the third installment of the Commonwealth Conversation series designed to empower youth throughout Virginia with the knowledge and support to build fulfilling lives.

Before Dr. Brooks took the stage, Brian K. Payne, interim provost and executive vice president for academic affairs, welcomed the audience and said �鶹����AV is committed to fostering a thriving community centered on well-being, integrating health, connection and growth into every aspect of campus life. He introduced Virginia Secretary of Health and Human Resources Janet Kelly and Secretary of Education Aimee Guidera who discussed the commonwealth’s efforts regarding the wellbeing of students.

Dr. Brooks discussed the science of happiness, emphasizing that happiness is not a feeling but a combination of enjoyment, satisfaction and meaning that is influenced by 50% genetics, 25% circumstances and 25% habits.

He shared personal anecdotes to explain how a person can gauge their potential for happiness quotient based on two questions: “Why are you alive?” and “What would you give up your life for?”

The father of three described how he asked those questions to his children when they turned 18 years of age. His second son struggled with answering either question and because of that decided he wasn’t ready for college. So, he found work on a farm and then joined the Marine Corps.

“That was the hardest thing he ever did, but I'm telling you, he found his answers … He has answers to his questions,” he said, explaining that his son’s answers to those questions were that he was alive because he was made to serve other people and that he would give his life for his faith, family, fellow Marines and for the United States of America.

“That's my son, and I'm proud of that. But that's not to say that his answers are the right answers for you. What I'm proud of is that he found his answers. So, what are yours?”

Dr. Brooks then discussed how the thing that separates successful people from others is their habits.

“You should have good habits, so you have systematically better circumstances … You need to pay attention to and make an investment in every day, your faith, your family, your friendships and your work. Faith, family, friends and work,” he emphasized, following up by saying that started with finding something important, bigger than yourself, that will allow you “zoom out on the on the crazy psychodrama of your life.”

He spent time discussing the ills of social media and the population’s overreliance on cell phones.

“The loneliness epidemic, particularly among young people, is linked to overuse of electronic devices,” he said, explaining how the brain is divided into two functional halves, the right side for complex issues like love and fun and the left side for details and technology.  

“The problem that we have today, quite frankly, is that we're on the wrong side of our brains. We're spending all of our time on the side that's not meaningful, and that's one of the reasons that we see that younger people today are more and more likely to say my life feels meaningless, which is the number one predictor of depression and anxiety for people under 30. This is a meaning crisis, and we're in a meaning doom loop,” he said. “So, what do we need to do? The answer is, we need digital detox.”

To combat the crisis of meaning, he encouraged the audience to create tech-free zones and suggested three solutions: don’t look at a cell phone for one hour after waking; don’t allow phones at mealtimes; and no use of devices after 7 p.m.

Dr. Brooks went on to discuss how two religious traditions — regardless of one’s affiliation — can help people find something bigger than themselves and find answers.

First, he talked about pilgrimages, like the ones people are familiar with from history to Jerusalem, Rome and Santiago de Compostela in northern Spain.

“It’s an ancient tradition. It is not just a Christian tradition. It's very big in Hinduism. It's very big in Buddhism. In religions all over the world. They understand there's something you have to do. You have to, if you want to approach the answers to the biggest questions in your lives, make it into a real, physical approach as well walk your way to information,” he said. “Now maybe it's metaphorical for you, or maybe it's real for you, but if you want the answer to the big questions in your life, you need to actually set your mind, set your body and set your heart on a pilgrimage.”

Then he described how connecting the mind and body in times of solitude can help people discover the answers to their questions.

“You need quiet. You need alone time. You need a lack of devices. And you need to be focused,” he said before describing the Indian tradition of Brahma Muhurta which translates to “creator’s time” in Sanskrit. It's the perfect time, before dawn, to walk for an hour and think about those important questions. After 30 days, Dr. Brooks said, the answers to those questions will come.

“You're going to have information you've never had before,” he said. “… Your life is going to start to feel more peaceful and more centered, not because you walked your way to these answers, but because you were finally still and these answers found you.”

First Lady Youngkin closed out the evening.

“You talk about happiness not being a destination, but it being part of the journey,” she said. “So, I think we're all on this journey together.”